Internal Family Systems (IFS)
The Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of psychotherapy is an evidence-based approach that offers a non-pathologizing and empowering method of understanding the difficulties we face as humans and our internal world. While it is a different way of doing therapy, it’s incredibly powerful as it enables you to discover, appreciate and grow based on your particular experiences in life. It guides you to learn how to connect to yourself in a deep and authentic manner so you gain the clarity to know what steps are needed and engage your courage to take them.
IFS believes that it’s the nature of our minds to contain many parts, or subpersonalities. Each part is dimensional and contains its own points-of-view, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors. For example, part of you could want to call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while because you miss them. Another part could feel guilty for not having reached out for so long. And another part could be angry that your friend hasn’t reached out either.
At times, we can feel torn on how to respond to a conflict or which decision we should make as our parts may pull us in several different directions. This is where the importance of the Self comes in.
Everyone has a Self, sometimes called Self energy. The Self is the inherent wisdom and guidance for anything we face in life. The Self should ideally lead the individuals internal system of parts, their parts family.
However, throughout life, our parts are forced into roles they do not wish to have due to traumas we face and attachments injuries. The traumas we face in life can burden some parts to carry the negative emotions, memories and sensations while other parts work diligently to protect against the reexperiencing those burdens, often to the extreme.
Our parts all have the best intentions for us. There are no “bad” parts or “good” parts. Just as a young child who cleaned up spilled milk with your favorite cashmere sweater. They are not a bad child or a good child, but a child with the best intentions. In IFS therapy, we aim to not eliminate our parts, we tend to do that already in everyday life for the ones we “don’t like”. Rather, we help to befriend them, unburden them and balance them. The Self then becomes like an orchestra conductor, leading our parts to create the music of life in a way that is harmonious and smooth.
Our inner system is ever complex and changing. As our inner world changes, so does our external world. Likewise, as our external world changes, so does our inner world. Our abilities to grow and better understand ourselves is never ending. It is the cycle of life and gifted to us for being a human being. IFS allows us to have compassion and connection with all parts of us. And all parts of you are always welcome.
IFS Resources
What is IFS – A video by Dr. Richard Schwartz (IFS Founder)
Pixar’s Inside Out: Our Parts Interacting with the Parts of Others